The Casualties Have Been Spread Thin

U.S. CASUALTIES IN IRAQ TO DATE: 2,337

WOUNDED TO DATE: 17,004

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"Greetings, Citizens. This is BIG BROTHER."

The glorious sacrifices for Our Beloved Government have been spread thin across our HOMELAND. Few Citizens actually know of or are related to any of our fallen comrades. So, do not let the gloom of WAR overtake your VICTORY joy, Citizen.

With only 2,337 casualties thus far, the WAR caused by Saddam Hussein and his TERRORIST CELLS has been one of the LEAST DEADLY wars fought by any Beloved Government. A Citizen is far more likely to meet a disabled veteran-seven times more often in fact-than to ever actually know a fallen comrade. So REJOICE that this DEFENSIVE WAR has hardly affected you, Citizen. And when you see a VETERAN VICTIM of the WAR ON TERROR, be sure to thank them for their loss; one they should be proud to sustain.

Until next time, this is BIG BROTHER.

There ARE Things Citizens Shouldn't Know

Greetings Citizens. This is BIG BROTHER.

It is NEGA-THINK to ponder why OUR BELOVED LEADER's SECOND IN COMMAND waited some eighteen hours before notifying local authorities about his accidental shooting of a hunting companion. The SIC is above reproach and hence is not required to abide by laws pertaining to local citizenry.